Fancy Vegas Shoe

So a few months back I was sent to Vegas for a big sign show. A few employees including myself were chosen to represent the company. Of two days we were only required to attend the show one day leaving the rest of the trip to do "Vegas Things". Four of us decide to go on a party bus. A shuttle of amateur fun seekers. The party bus promised an open bar which consisted of two bottles of a blue and green liqueur that can be found on a Walgreens clearance section. Liqueur is liqueur so that was tolerable. The party bus also promised five stops at the best clubs in Vegas. I'm not going to review all five bars because my night nearly ended with the first. The party crew approached the line while a thick necked gentleman thoroughly scanned our attire. Not being the smartest packer I had forgotten my big boy shoes. Although my shoes were super clean and decent they were denied by Vegas' number one club shoe analyst. Apparently that thick neck was a result of all the shoe inspections he has performed. Two fellow beaners were also the victims of shoe discrimination. All three of us looked at each other confused and abandoned. One man was quick on his "heels" and called a friend who happened to live in Vegas and asked that he hook him up with some "kicks" that range from size 9-14. He was determined to get in the club. The other guy had a friend who had packed responsibly so he was able to get shoes. Although I had paid for this party bus I was ready to let my friends go while I kept the thick necked man company. My friend Lue was not prepared to bail on the club. We had at least an hour till the bus left for the next club. We walked briskly towards an outdoor shopping area. We found a store with nice big boy shoes in the window. Unfortunately the store had closed 5 minutes before. Lue showed the clerk a fifty, all she had to do was sell us a pair of shoes. She refused. I had lost interest in the tour but Lue was like a soldier tending to his injured war buddy. We get to Caesars Palace were we find the only open shoe store. The clerk asked if we were having a shoe emergency. I asked for the economy club shoe and he handed me the most fucked up pair of shoes he could find.
I'm sure that he and the thick necked gentleman have a bet to see how many idiots the shoe clerk can send in the club with the Emergency Shoe. I am all about comfort and the price it comes with but these bastards were $200. I frikkin laughed and proceeded to put the Party Moccasins away. Before they made it to the shelf Lue had already charged the damn things. Now I am $200 in debt and own shoes that Hugh Hefner would wear if he was in a Native American Tribe. These thing were basically slippers with a chain going across the top. Now we are running back to the club carrying a shoe box and wearing these ridiculous shoes. I ran at least 15 feet before the damn chain busted off one side of my right shoe. Now I get to enter the club rattling like a dumb ass. We get to the entrance The bouncer re-inspects me, sees that I have half a chain tucked into one shoe offers to take my shoe box and says have a good time. I know he and the shoe clerk laughed about that one. We leave the club about five minutes later. I replace my shoes and go on with the night making into the other clubs with no problem. The next day we need to catch our plane but there was no way those shoes would board the plane with me. I catch a cab back to the store and give them a sad story about how I love these shoes but they had a faulty chain. The clerk looked sad for me and returned Lues money. Here is a picture of the shoes. Maybe they could look better on the right person but they just made me look like a party elf.