Perfect high wire balance + awesome thrust abilities + pin point
accuracy + a complex digestive system which enables the consumption of almost
any material known to man = shit on my favorite hat.

Thank you pigeon

Today my 5 year old son asked to see my glasses when I asked him why
he said he wanted to look like a nerd.

Freddy and Waldo have ruined stripes for everyone.

I hope you get the shits bitch!



So the other night I am going to one of my favorite sonoran hot dog establishments and when I say establishment I mean old van with a filthy fuckin' tarp covering a mobile kithen. If you have never had a sonoran hot dog they are delicious in fact they are so delicious that some mother fuckers can't wait their turn in line to get one. I am a patient person but do not enjoy being disregarded.
I am lacking spanish skills, I only play a Mexican in real life, so I could'nt explain to the master of the culinary arts that I had been waiting patiently. All I could do was watch while my bacon wrapped beauties were intercepted. She would not look at me so I am sure she was aware of what she had done. I eventually recieved my hot dogs but I still had that feeling of disregard and loss for the "ones" that got away. I consoled myself with thoughts of those two hot dogs that were possibly tainted with salmonella. I like to think I narrowly dodged those meat processed bullets and that bitch did me a favor. I hope she got the shits.


Woman in photo is not the actual culprit.

Spinners

So I'm driving home today and I notice a car in the intersection with fake spinners, I am not a fan of spinning rims but am less of a fan of fake spinning rims. Fake spinning hub cap rims is kinda like telling someone your braces are grillz. You are not fooling anyone.

Fancy Vegas Shoe

So a few months back I was sent to Vegas for a big sign show. A few employees including myself were chosen to represent the company. Of two days we were only required to attend the show one day leaving the rest of the trip to do "Vegas Things". Four of us decide to go on a party bus. A shuttle of amateur fun seekers. The party bus promised an open bar which consisted of two bottles of a blue and green liqueur that can be found on a Walgreens clearance section. Liqueur is liqueur so that was tolerable. The party bus also promised five stops at the best clubs in Vegas. I'm not going to review all five bars because my night nearly ended with the first. The party crew approached the line while a thick necked gentleman thoroughly scanned our attire. Not being the smartest packer I had forgotten my big boy shoes. Although my shoes were super clean and decent they were denied by Vegas' number one club shoe analyst. Apparently that thick neck was a result of all the shoe inspections he has performed. Two fellow beaners were also the victims of shoe discrimination. All three of us looked at each other confused and abandoned. One man was quick on his "heels" and called a friend who happened to live in Vegas and asked that he hook him up with some "kicks" that range from size 9-14. He was determined to get in the club. The other guy had a friend who had packed responsibly so he was able to get shoes. Although I had paid for this party bus I was ready to let my friends go while I kept the thick necked man company. My friend Lue was not prepared to bail on the club. We had at least an hour till the bus left for the next club. We walked briskly towards an outdoor shopping area. We found a store with nice big boy shoes in the window. Unfortunately the store had closed 5 minutes before. Lue showed the clerk a fifty, all she had to do was sell us a pair of shoes. She refused. I had lost interest in the tour but Lue was like a soldier tending to his injured war buddy. We get to Caesars Palace were we find the only open shoe store. The clerk asked if we were having a shoe emergency. I asked for the economy club shoe and he handed me the most fucked up pair of shoes he could find.
I'm sure that he and the thick necked gentleman have a bet to see how many idiots the shoe clerk can send in the club with the Emergency Shoe. I am all about comfort and the price it comes with but these bastards were $200. I frikkin laughed and proceeded to put the Party Moccasins away. Before they made it to the shelf Lue had already charged the damn things. Now I am $200 in debt and own shoes that Hugh Hefner would wear if he was in a Native American Tribe. These thing were basically slippers with a chain going across the top. Now we are running back to the club carrying a shoe box and wearing these ridiculous shoes. I ran at least 15 feet before the damn chain busted off one side of my right shoe. Now I get to enter the club rattling like a dumb ass. We get to the entrance The bouncer re-inspects me, sees that I have half a chain tucked into one shoe offers to take my shoe box and says have a good time. I know he and the shoe clerk laughed about that one. We leave the club about five minutes later. I replace my shoes and go on with the night making into the other clubs with no problem. The next day we need to catch our plane but there was no way those shoes would board the plane with me. I catch a cab back to the store and give them a sad story about how I love these shoes but they had a faulty chain. The clerk looked sad for me and returned Lues money. Here is a picture of the shoes. Maybe they could look better on the right person but they just made me look like a party elf.

I have chosen this piece as the first of many I will be sharing because it has a story behind it.
Typically my art consist of images without any real commentary or back story. I just want to create images that do not exist. I have also included a disclaimer for this piece that was posted
along with it when it was shown at the Solar Culture art gallery in Tucson, Arizona.


DISCLAIMER:
I Love you Nana
I used to spent my summers as a child with my grandparents. One evening my grandmother
prepared dinner as she always did. My grandfather and I sat as she served us. Before she could sit down to join us for dinner she began to violently remove her clothing. I sat and cried while my confused grandfather told me to stay calm and eat my frijoles. We could not figure out why Nana had replaced a dinner prayer with a naked dancing ritual. My grandfather held her while she explained a spider had crawled into her shirt.

There are things you cannot "unsee" that is why I wanted to share this image with all of you.


Rudy

Welcome. This is my first attempt at writing a blog. My reason for creating this is to collect the things I find interesting or somewhat amusing, and also to share my art and thoughts. I encourage
any feedback or exchange of ideas and images.
Rudy